One of the most interesting parts of the game to me was always the terminology and the rhythmic flow of all the phrases. I am an over analyzer, so of course I always broke down each statement to try to understand the deeper meaning behind it. Some I have let go of because they are either just straight up stupid or triggering. Some I have put in my back pocket to pull out when necessary. And some I have continued to live by.
"Stay down to come up" is one of the ones I have kept to live by. Why? Well because it resonates deeply with me.
Let me explain what it meant when it was first introduced to me to my knowledge. My folks* ingrained it in me as one of the rules of the game.
1. You stay down with the folks you choose and start from the bottom to build up to the top together and you stay down no matter what. Through the good the bad and the ugly. 2. You stay down for the game. Period. You never fold. You don’t give up and you do what you gotta do to reach success.
The second one is why I hold tight to this phrase. Granted I left the game, I didn’t leave the mentality completely. When I was in the game my quota was $1000 a day.
Now, sometimes this was easy, other times this was not, depending on the day. See there are many factors to the game, not just posting an ad and waiting for clients to come. There are tactics and business plans that have to be in place. There is research you have to do; on cities, police activity, how many girls are in that area, what kind of surroundings and hotels are available, if there are other avenues within the area to make money if the internet is slow, convention activity, hot spots, price range for the area along with knowing what other women in the area are charging and what you competition is going to be for the area, etc. There is a LOT of thought and discipline that goes in to this hustle that you may not know about if you have never been subject to it.
But guess what, I was damn sure going to do whatever I had to do to make sure I got that $1000 a day. If not, there would be consequences I was not looking forward to dealings with. So what did I do? I did what I do best and learned the game, learned to hustle, and learned how to do the most for the leas. While leaing how to do it to the best of my ability. I worked hard to build my brand up within the game so that I didn’t have to always start from scratch each day. I used my brain to figure out multiple avenues of income so that I had different options and wasn’t reliant on one. I took time to understand how the game worked and how to best excel at it and be the best at what I was doing. I stayed down and loyal to the game for my time in it and put in the work required to get myself to a "high end escorting" position which, at that time, seemed more glamourous than when I had started on the streets trying to barely get $100 a date each time a car pulled over.
My life today is no different. A lot of people don’t understand when I tell them I take a LOT of what I learned in the game and am thankful for it and continue to flourish it. They misconstrue that with me holding on to the game or wanting to have a piece of me still in it. This is not accurate at all because guess what, even though Im pushin 30, if I wanted to be a top notch ho I could in a second. I know how to do it and would if that’s what my desire was. But it is not.
My desire is to take the knowledge I gained and use it to build my dream life. The game and its tactics are honestly no different than any other walk of life. The terminology is just tweaked to fit a certain understanding and category. But the message and ethics behind it are all the same.
So, as I am someone who doesn’t believe in wasting any of my experiences and lives with a "no regrets" mentality, naturally I picked what benefitted me most from my time in the game and brought it with me to this new chapter of my life. And it hasn’t failed me. In my new life, when I get lazy or inpatient, I simply revert back to those days I was out there demanded to make a certain amount of money, sometimes under impossible circumstances. I remember the days I ran and had NO MEANS to survive, but did anyways. I remember the days I had multiple men kidnapping me, or raping me and my choices were to either die or survive, and well, I'm here writing this blog so I clearly survived.
So how dare I ever get lazy in my life when I have been given a second chance to live. Not just survive, but LIVE. So when I start slacking, or start taking things for granted, my stay down to come up mentality prevails and I remind myself of my self discipline I know I am more than capable of, as I exemplified it in the game.
I take a breath, and I remind myself who I am and what I have accomplished for OTHERS and make sure I truly know and believe I am worthy of accomplishing those things for MYSELF as well. I look up and remember how hard I went for someone elses profits and pockets and I demand I do that for myself. I look in the mirror and remind myself how much I believed those tricks and pimps when they told me I was only ever going to excel in the game and that’s what I was good at, and I remind myself how I prevailed out and am doing things they all swore I couldn’t. I REMIND MYSELF of who the fuck I am and who I am meant to be.
What tops it off for me though. Is results. Truth of the matter is. When I stayed down for the game. I never got consistency. I never had permanence or anything to call my own. I never felt stability, or purpose. I never felt joy within myself. I never felt like I had much to look forward too or that anything was going to stick around. I was always waiting for things to be taken away or change at the drop of a dime.
What happened when I chose out the game and chose up with purpose though? Everything opposite. As I sit here typing today. I have stayed committed to hard work, healing, growing and moving away from the life I once knew. I have never stayed committed to anything this long that didn’t give me immediate results. Even in the game, if things didn’t work out pretty immediate I was looking for new ways to make it work. My new life has required dedication, hard work, accountability, heart ache, hardships, growth, knowledge, struggle, faith, strength and hardest of all, staying down until I come up. But Guess what, my results, are tangible. My healing is immeasurable, I am a full time mother--a sports mom at that!, I have created my very own movement, I have created healthy relationships and am continually learning to maintain them, I am constantly changing things about myself for the better, I am holding myself accountable, I have OWNERSHIP of things I never thought I would like a car, a place to live, my body, my brand, my joy, my spirit.
My point is, after staying down in the game because I wanted all the things above, low and behold, I achieved them after I chose to stay down for my purpose. I took a risk, did what others said was impossible, and chose to seek myself out in 27 years worth of lost junk all tangled up within my body mind and spirit. I did the dirty work, and will continue too. I took the hard way out and stayed down when it wasn’t easy and I will never cease my loyalty to my life ever again because I have seen results. All the while I was searching for this void to be filled by staying loyal to outside sources, when the whole time of my entire existence I never even knew the void I was seeking to fill-- I had the power to fill it.
I want to leave you with this. Stay down for YOU. Stay down for the things that bring value to your life. Stay down for your purpose and passion. Stay down for love. Stay down for strength. Stay down for growth. Stay down for knowledge. Stay down for self worth. Stay down for your mind, body and soul. Stay down for the things that YOU will be fulfilled by. And then experience the luxury of letting those you choose and are deserving bask in the beauty of your come up.
Love and light- Jaimee